Focus

Sometimes life seems pixelated...out of focus. But if you get organized and calm down, you'll realize you can focus and look toward the positives.

I often get out of focus and chaotic trying to control everything, but I'm slowly learning to box up the crazy and to just stay open minded to whatever happens. It's hard to let go of control sometimes, but it opens up your life to new experiences you may not have gone through otherwise. I for one know that I am very thankful for all the things that have happened in my life since my new take on being more carefree. Sure, some of it sucked like a Hoover Vacuum, but everything I've been through has made me who I am and led me to meeting all the people who are in my life right now. I couldn't be more thankful for that.

So people, try to focus in on the good, even if it's small. Appreciate life and the people around you.

Diamond in the Kitty Litter

So the I was thinking about life, as I tend to do, and I was thinking about all of the times that I have had to turn my life around. It feels like shit just keeps on coming at you unrelenting.

And then I thought, you know what chore never EVER seems to end, cleaning out the kitty litter. I swear to GOD a cat that size should not be able to shit/piss that much. But every time I go to clean the shit out of there, it seems as though there is even more than the last time I cleaned it.

And like life, if you try and ignore it, shit just keeps on building up until you can't cover it up anymore and all of a sudden you're forced to deal with it one way or another.

This picture here I hope is relatively self explanatory. If you look hard enough in the shit, there is bound to be some beauty to remind you that even though you're digging through the crap of someone else, it gets better.

Experience hate, fear, and sadness.
But don't live by it.

Experience Love, Joy, and Courage.
And do.

Memories

Hello hello! I don't know where to begin...it's been quite awhile and I do have to profusely apologize for that. Life has been crazy busy this year so far. I can't believe how much has changed since the last time a post was put up here. Let me try to summarize. But before I do, let me explain my picture. As you can see, there isn't a new object in the frame per-se, but there are shadows of summer flowers. My idea for this image, was to of course use the past image-within-an-image, but to capture the summer time while expressing a feeling of remembrance. I wanted to be able to look at this image and feel memories, stories, good times and bad, and to just enjoy it. I'm happy with how it turned out, hopefully others feel the same. Okay, now onto my novel of an explanation.

The beginning of this year was purely devoted to my portfolio for school. I had to shoot, develop the film, print and process the pictures and then edit out which ones I wanted to submit to be accepted into upper division photography at ASU. It was so nerve wracking because ASU has one of the top 10 photography programs in the nation and you only get two tries to submit and then your banned from ever trying again. Talk about pressure. So I redid my portfolio from scratch about 5 times...each time shooting/processing/printing/developing around 200 pictures each. Needless to say I slept at school a lot and was there almost every weekend...I died a little haha Then pre-portfolio review came. We got to show our work to the professors who would be deciding who gets in or not and hear what they had to say before we fully submitted. Omg. It was horrible. They were way too harsh on everyone. During a critique the room would be silent besides the professors then the person would take their stuff down and run out of the room..and I mean run haha Needless to say I redid my whole portfolio...again...in less than a week. I don't know how, but I did it. And after all that drama, sweat, blood, money, no sleep...I got in :) I know this will sound gay, but I have to say I'm proud of myself for not chickening out. I pushed myself further than I thought I could and did something I've always dreamed of.

So all that crap was my first 5 months of the year, plus other school work on top of that. It was hell. But I lived and got good grades! Other than surviving school, I dealt with family drama like usual, broke a toe and got many more injuries like usual, lost all of my pictures on my computer (major sadness), did a photo workshop, started assisting a wedding photographer at weddings and designing albums, had my a/c break twice, had my boyfriend and his new kitten move in, found a new apartment for us in July, helping another designer, went to an old friend's wedding, getting a new camera soon (YAY!), and said goodbye to two horribly rude and inconsiderate people. I've gone through a lot this year. I honestly can't believe how much I've pushed myself and have done things I was too afraid to do, but have it work out amazing. I absolutely can't wait to move into my new apartment with my boyfriend! I never thought I'd be moving in with my boyfriend in a million years. I accepted a long time ago that I'd be a crazy old cat lady all alone. And I never thought I could lose even more faith in people, but people always surprise me. I thought I had at last found two friends that I could count on and trust, but boy oh boy was I wrong. They ended up being the most rude, mean, hateful, back-stabbing, lying people I have ever met. It honestly saddens me that people can be so mean and not even care. They even tried stealing my stuff when moving out!! I mean really. Oh well.

So let me end this gigantic novel now. A lot has happened. A lot has changed. A lot has been learned. I'm thankful for everything that has happened...all the great people in my life, all the horrible people that are no longer in my life, and I can't wait to see what the rest of this year has to offer. Again, I am terribly terribly sorry for how long this took me, but I honestly had no time to breathe let alone update this. From now on though, I will be free and posting a.s.a.p! Thank you Eric for understanding and being such a great friend. I'm truly excited for this project and can't wait to see how it ends :)